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ahdi

Do you know

Do you know how hard it is to get out of bed
When you know
Nothing's going to change
For the rest of the day
When you know
Nothing good will happen
For the rest of the day
When you hope and pray
For something that you've been praying for days
And it still doesn't happen

Do you know how hard it is to look into the mirror
When all you see is
That flabby arm, that big belly, that cellulite
That flaky skin, that dark eye ring, that cracked lip
Do you know how hard it is to look into the mirror
When all you see is
Blurred version of yourself
Drowning in your own tears
Of frustration and shame
Of despair

Do you know how hard it is to check the phone
When you know
People are hounding you
From early morning
When you know
You can't answer anything
No matter how much you want to
When you know
Each second passed
Is an opportunity lost

Do you know how hard it is to get out of the house
When all you can think about is
That disturbance, that humiliation, that mortification
That pot of scheming, vengeful spirits waiting to pound on you anytime
Do you know how hard it is to get out of the house
When all you can think about is
Being angry, being sad, being depressed
Then pretending to be alright, be motivated, be professional
Best of all
Be someone else

Do you know how hard it has been for me
Do you actually know
Or do you pretend to understand
When all you care about is yourself

If you'd known
Why would you make it harder?

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